Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Wren's mom

I can't believe how fast this year is flying by. I had a dream last night that it was already Fall... 

It seems like only yesterday I was passed a tiny little peanut named Wren while laying in a hospital bed. She was small enough to hold in cupped hands and didn't even know how to cry. Amazing how something so tiny can be so full spirit! I was 24 at the time and while mature for my age still young. I still am! It is a tough but special thing to be a young mom. It is tough to be a mom. Period!

But I think young moms have a challenge in that they are still finding their way, still learning about life and the Real World. I often reflect and wonder if I'd be a more patient mom, more capable of juggling things if I was 10 years older when Wren came along. Or maybe that is just the struggle of all moms? I am not sure but I know it is mine.

I do know that I've learned a lot from Wren and this crazy adventure in parenthood. It is hard job! One of those jobs you take on knowing that you are never ready for, always struggling to master. One that you CANNOT fail at, although none of us are perfect. But it is a rewarding, fulfilling job! One that I am glad I took on young. 

It is one of my struggles, how to go about raising a happy, peaceful, confident girl in this age of over exposure, celebrity culture and mass media. I need to lead by example, but wonder if I am setting the best one at times. I need to remind her that it is okay to not be perfect.


To have fun! Not to worry about what makes others happy over what makes her happy. I want her to enjoy the simple things.

My parents did an amazing job. I have really, really wonderful parents. So I am thankful to have them as the guiding light of how to make this little girl into a wonderful person. Growing up I remember only a handful of times that I was really upset over what other kids did or said. Not that there were only a few bad things said or done to me, only that I honestly wasn't heartbroken or defeated by many of them. And that is because I was raised to and enjoyed marching to my own drum. I was never incredibly popular, nor was I unpopular, I was just ME. I feel good about that because growing up as a girl is not easy at times, specially to get through adolescence unscathed. 

{ this girl always marches to her own beat }

I want her to be bold

and BRAVE. In the sense that she is strong enough to stand up for what's right. Brave enough to continue being brave. 

She has taught me a lot about bravery! I would never have shared a makeup less photo 3 years ago. I can almost hear my 20 year old self cringing at the thought. I would never have dreamed of leaving a steady job and income for painting furniture, renovating houses. But I want to be brave enough to show her the true me, show her that I am happy with myself. That I was brave enough to take chances, and most importantly follow my heart.

{ au naturel }

I want her to feel freedom. TRUE freedom. Free to be herself at all times. Free from feeling she needs to be what society sees as beautiful, pretty. I want her to fly like the bird she is.


Kerry said...

Oh Holly - what a love post! I feel the same way about our little girl as you do. Being a young Mom can definitely be a struggle. I'd say it sounds like you are doing a great job and headed in the right direction with her. She's lucky to have you as a Mom! :)

Grabbing My Happy said...

What a beautiful post!

And just so you know, being an older mom doesn't always make you more patient or capable. Truly. No matter what age those little souls enter your life, they teach you what you need to know at that very moment. You always keep learning... together. At age 30, age 35 or even 40, you're always learning and figuring out this crazy cool journey.

carli said...

Beautiful post Holly! Loved this :)

Molly said...

I became a mother at age 24- and had 5 kids, a miscarriage and an ectopic pregnancy by the time I was 31. I have 3 beautiful girls and 2 strapping young men. ;) My baby is now 5 and my oldest will be 13 in September. This post is every mother's struggle, every mother's prayer. The thing I have learned on this journey is that the deeper into parenting you get, the more you realize you don't have the answers. I used to look at more experienced mothers and think they must know something I didn't. But I guess all they knew was that as a Mom you never feel like you have done enough. I've decided to really live a quote I saw the other day. "Don't get so focused on raising good kids that you forget you already have them." This post is proof positive that you are doing great!

Kelli @ Life at 818 said...

awe what a wonderful post - so very, very sweet. I had my first when I was 25, then my second when I was 34, then my last when I was 40! I agree with Grabbing My Happy.. they teach you what you need to know at that very moment. We all have those thoughts, those doubts... yes, it sounds like you have got it going on. No matter what, you're doing fine :o)

Grace said...

Lovely post!

Vintage Home said...

I had my first @ 35 my second @ 37,being any age mom is a struggle! Our daughters, 21 & 23 are smart kind & beautiful they love the Lord and they honour him daily.
I am so thankful for every stage of their growth, and believe it when I say they humble me with their strength.
Because you want them to have personal integrity and you will raise them with yours ...they will carry it with them in all they do!
They are a blessing ...C

bagfashionista said...

you and i are pretty much the same age (1983 right?) and our babies are about the same age (i think they are born about a week apart - isabel is 12/12)

i do often wonder if it'll be easier if i'm older, and more "established", especially since i'm a single mom now. It is hard. At times, so hard. But giving up is not an option.

i wonder if i'm making the right decision, if i should be doing one thing vs the other, and i guess there's always going to be opinions, but knowing that you're doing the best YOU can possibly do is the way to have no regrets. (Although i have to say that i do feel guilty that i'm not doing more, but seriously, there's only one of me)

undomestic chica said...

I love this post! I can't believe how big she's getting, and I love the pictures of you - so pretty.

Heather said...

She's a lucky girl! It seems like you're doing an excellent job juggling. It's not easy at any age, and as always, we just want our kids to be happy (and brave, and bold, and confident....)

Freckles Chick said...

BEAUTIFUL. Wren (she's growing so fast!), you, this post, & your outlook on life & parenting. I've always looked forward to your posts but even more so now that I'm a mom to my own little Quinn birdie. I admire how you balance renovations, work, parenting......all the while w/ such a free spirit.

Wren is a lucky gal & you are a wonderful mama!

dogwalker said...

Love the pictures. I only recently started following your blog. But have found you to be very good at whatever you do.

I can see from some of your posts that you are into clothes as well. So I must ask. Where did you get that beautiful sweater from?

Thank you for sharing.

dogwalker said...

Love the pictures. I only recently started following your blog. But have found you to be very good at whatever you do.

I can see from some of your posts that you are into clothes as well. So I must ask. Where did you get that beautiful sweater from?

Thank you for sharing.

dogwalker said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stacey said...

This is such a sweet post!! Beautiful pictures!


Holly and Sean said...

Thank you thank you everyone! It feels so good to know we aren't alone in our struggles and challenges as moms and all your words made a big impact.

STEPH, you are the best single mom I know and you just need to keep rocking it girl!

Jules said...

You and your little family are just So beautiful.
If my Hubby is ever posted out there I may just have to beg you to let me be your friend...

bagfashionista said...

aww, thank you holly!

it's a struggle from time to time, but definitely one of the things that i have to remind myself constantly is to take a step back and look at the big picture.

That taking that 15-20 minutes after work each day after picking isabel up to swing by the park and let her play is really not that much of a difference to my to-do list, but makes a huge difference to my little girl

I suppose that kind of mentality really sums up parenthood -- it really doesn't take that much to make your kid happy, one just has to be willing to.

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