Thursday, May 16, 2013

A not so fun day.

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Yesterday was a beautiful, sunny day. It was our first day home from vacation and we spent most of it outside in the yard. Wren make a little picnic spot for our lunch and Mungkee and I joined her with some peanut butter and jam pitas. She shared her 'crusts' with him. He played in the yard with us. We knew he has been sick, but he was eating good and I even gave him a little bath, after which he pounced around like a little puppy (like he always did after a good bath). 

We had an appointment at the Vet to do a re-check to see if his medication has been helping, if his weight was improving late in the afternoon. Everything inside me was telling me that he wasn't alright, but he seemed to be 'stablizing' and I wanted to believe it. But something told me that Sean needed to be there, and we made plans for Wren to be with her grandma for the afternoon. 

The vet agreed that he wasn't worse, but he wasn't better. She ran some blood tests and did an x-ray. While we waited for the results they brought him back to us and right then I knew.

He laid down on the floor and cried. It was like he held it all together up until that moment and he felt like it was time to give in. A couple minutes later the vet showed me his x-ray and there was a mass that wasn't there in his last 3 x-rays (all taken within the last 2 months). They did a quick ultrasound and confirmed that his liver was engulfed in cancer, too far gone to do anything. It was a surprise to me that it was so bad so quick when we have been doing regular x-rays and scans on him to try and detect anything that would explain his recent changes (loss of weight and very sleepy). But it was a relief at the same time to finally know what it was. And to know that I couldn't have seen it sooner or done anything differently. Mungkee was such a good, easy dog that I felt guilty up until that point that I should have seen the signs sooner, that I could have done something to help him. To know that we checked everything before, all the doctors couldn't find it until yesterday and that they could do nothing for him gave me a little finality and allowed me to let go. 

He was ready to let go before we were and it seems he was kind enough to let us have that final piece of closure. 

We cuddled him in his last moments and he was a gentleman up to the end. I was proud to hold such a brave little guy in my arms as he passed.

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We will miss our little Mungkee. Sean and I were talking last night and we will always remember him as the dog that brought a smile to everyone's face. Always giving love, enjoying the attention.
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When we adopted him 7 years ago he was already 3. My parents thought we were crazy for taking on an already 3 year old male dog (that hadn't been neutered!) but within minutes he won over everyone's heart. His previous owner had passed when we took him, and until yesterday I didn't think much about the fact that someone else loved him just as much as us and I am glad that he is with her again.
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He was Sean's best man and our little baby boy.
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And when Wren came along he took to her immediately, but more importantly she adored him too.
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Just his hair could make me giggle if the wind blew it in a funny way.
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Thank you for so many loving memories and years,
Good bye "mungkee man".

57 comments:

christine, just bella said...

Oh Holly, you have me in tears. I am sending you the biggest virtual hug right now. I know how hard it is to lose a pet, they ARE part of your family. That Mungkee has the sweetest little face and you can tell how much joy he brought to your family.

Thinking about you guys and sending you lots of love!
xoxo,
Christine

Shauna said...

So sorry for your family's loss. Pets are great friends. *hugs*

Starla said...

So sorry for your loss. What a special little friend you had. He was blessed by having you as his family.

Liv said...

I'm so sorry. It's always hard to lose a loved one.

bagfashionista said...

I am so sorry, Holly.

cinnamon whites said...

My condolences to you and your family. Big hugs!

Michele said...

Oh I'm so so sorry. :(

Lisa @ Fern Creek Cottage said...

So very sorry to hear about your sweet little guy. Such a sweet doggie who brought your family so many years of joy.

The White City Project said...

Oh Holly, I'm so sorry for your family's loss! Thanks for sharing such sweet memories with us.

Krista said...

Losing a pet is THE HARDEST, I can sympathize. I've been missing my fur baby for 4 years.

So sorry for your loss of a furry family member. But you will have lots of happy memories to remember Mungkee forever.

colleen said...

I have done this very thing a number of times and infact to this day can not talk about Murphy [our lab] or Willie [our shorthair],Katy [our lil mix] without tearing up. I have always felt we were sooo lucky to have them as members of our family. we now have another lab [Bonnie]and another shorthair [Jessie] and I feel truely blessed. god bless you and your family

Phoebe said...

I follow on my Google reader (and don't comment much), but I had to stop by and let you know how sorry I am for your loss.

You can just tell by the photos that Mungkee was such a great dog. I'm happy, though, that he brought such joy to your life and that you brought so much to his!

Ashley said...

I am so so sorry for your loss!

Karalee said...

Hi Holly, it's so tough to lose a part of your family. My heart goes out to you. There is nothing quite like the love a dog gives. Thank you for sharing so many memories.

Marsha said...

So Sorry Holly to hear about Mungkee. I have been following along and hoped that he would get better. It is so incredibly hard when we lose a pet. He was such a sweet looking little dog. If you don't mind me asking, what breed was he? Thanks for sharing the pictures. Love the one of him in the bicycle basket.

LifeBegins@Thirty said...

Losing a pet is so difficult. I'm sorry you had to go through this. Sounds like you have lots of lovely memories of your little Mungkee and some gorgeous photos to look at.

I'm sorry for your loss. Thinking of you guys.

Some Day is Right Now said...

I've been reading your blog for a while now and never comment. This post, however, almost brought me to tears. It's obvious how much love you and Mungkee brought to each other. The pictures are so sweet--so much love and happiness there..

Losing a pet is always SO hard. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Lynda @ Happenstance Home said...

So very sorry to hear about your pup. They are just unconditional little sweethearts - so hard to lose them.

Peaches said...

I am near tears. Oh Holly I'm so sorry for your loss. I'll be thinking about you and your family in the coming weeks. Love and hugs!

The S's beach house said...

I am so sorry for your loss Holly!

Hugs to you all..


xoxo, Reem

Wendy said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious Mungkee. Losing a pet that's part of the family is just so difficult. I hope your sweet memories bring you comfort. Hugs. xox

Squeak said...

Tears are running down my cheeks. My heart is breaking for you.

It sounds like he had the most wonderful, loving family in the world. And you had the most wonderful, loving dog in the world.

Brie @ Eat Books said...

Oh Holly, I am so, so sorry you had to say good-bye. Our dogs are a member of our family, and it's so unfair that they can't live longer lives. My heart feels for yours (and your families), I already dread the day we have to say goodbye to our boy. and from Saigon, our dog.

Janey said...

This breaks my heart ...those fur babies are so precious... hugs to you and you family

Christina said...

wow this post absolutely made me cry :( SO SO sorry - losing a pet is truly losing a family member. He was such an adorable dog, and you guys gave him such a great life!!!

Kerry said...

My heart goes out to your family. Pets are such wonderful creatures that live such short but meaningful lives. Remember all of the good times and the perfection that he was. I hope Wren is ok during this difficult time :(

Rosemary said...

Holly, I am so very, very sorry. That is all I can type as the tears stream down.
Rosemary

Jenna said...

Oh, Holly, I'm sooooo sorry. We lost my family's dog a year or so ago and it was so very, very hard. :(

Douglas said...

I'm so sorry about your family's loss. If only all of God's creatures could be loved as much as your sweet pup was. Marissa

Sherry @ No Minimalist Here said...

Holly, I am so sorry about your loss. It is never easy to lose a beloved pet. Sending hugs.
Sherry

Melissa @ The Inspired Room said...

I'm so so sorry about your pup, he looks like he was well loved and a wonderful dog. We lost our sweet older dog this year and it was the saddest. Pets are so much a part of our family, I know you will miss him terribly.:-(


Melissa

Leslie G said...

I'm so sorry, Holly. That is so sad. Is Wren ok? I'm so sorry to hear this. :(

Kerry said...

So, so sorry to read this! What a hard time! :( Sending lots of love to you and your family! xo

Anne Boykin said...

I'm so sorry for your loss! We recently had to say goodbye to our sweet Roscoe. He was our best buddy for 13 years and we miss him so. My heart goes out to you.

Antonella said...

Holly so sad for you. He was such a tender soul..
many hugs
Anto

Lesa said...

Tears are streaming down my face as I write this. Our family knows your heartache. We had our last two pets (family members for sure) cremated and have their photos on top each beautiful wood carved box. Years can pass and we still share stories about Chase and Callie and other precious pets we've loved. Mungkee was so lucky to have your loving family for his 2nd home.

Michelle said...

My thoughts are with you and your little family, Holly. I'll be thinking of you. <3

Kristen said...

So sad. I am so sorry - this must be so so hard. It's not fair!

JulieQ said...

So sorry Holly, It breaks my heart that our precious pets are with us on earth for such a short time. Giant hugs to you and your family at this difficult time and praying that Wren is ok.

Jill said...

So sorry for your loss.

Amy said...

So, so sorry. Holly. My thoughts are with you and your family. Hope Wren is dealing with it okay.

Freckles Chick said...

Oh Holly....I am so sorry that you had to say good-bye to your beloved Mungkee. You gave him the best life. I know words won't take away the sadness but I just wanted to leave a quote from a card we got when we said good-bye to our Hiro: "In Heaven, the car windows are always rolled down." Mungkee Man is having the time of his life up there, sprightly as a puppy.

P.S. This post is so beautifully written & made me cry. Our Hiro too was taken by liver cancer--it's so fast-moving that there's nothing we could've done except make sure he was as comfortable as possible, which you 100% tried to give Mungkee.

annie smith said...

Holly please know that time will soften the heartache & you will eventually be able 2 reflect on your beloved little man by smiling instead of crying. Of all the pets in this big wide world that you could've ended up with, Mungkee was the one that found his way into your lives. He was lucky 2 be loved by your family and returned the love! May God give you, sean, & wren comfort in this hard time

Beth Rutter said...

Holly, I am so very sorry for your loss. Run free Mungkee.

Stacey said...

Holly I am so sorry for your loss, pets are part of a family just like a human and losing one of them is awful. Thinking of you and your family! Lots of love and hugs

xoxo
Stacey

**Frugal Contessa** said...

Oh Holly, I'm so sorry to hear that Mungkee has passed. You must all be really missing his presence in your home. Hang in there. Big hugs!

Perry, Becca, Simon and Lukas said...

Hey there- I've been following your blog for about 2 years and have so much enjoyed the pics of Mungkee included as well- that's how we've always felt about our 4 footed family members- included in everything we do too. I had to write though with this heartbreaking post b/c we went through this with our beloved Maggie, a boisterous Jack Russell, who was our baby for 8 years. She also fell ill very suddenly a year ago (on Mother's Day) we had to let her go. I related to you as you spoke of holding your lovie until he passed. We did the same with Maggie and I was honored to be part of the experience. While it was the hardest thing I've ever done I wouldn't have had it any other way.

I absolutely think of her every day and talk to her and know she's with us and we'll be reunited one day. May your memories be near and may you find comfort in knowing you did the right thing and you will always love him. Thank you again for posting this and sharing your heart with us. Be gentle and take it one day at a time- all the best.

Gayle said...

I just discovered your blog and this was the first article I saw. It really touched me becuse like you, I also had too say goodbye to my 2 precious family members and even though it's been 7 months since we lost Meeko, my heart still breaks and I cry over losing him. He passed away while I was at work but I had been up with him during the night and felt in my heart that something was wrong. My husband found him when he got off work and said he didn't want me to see Meeko like that and buried him before I got home. He was 13 years old. Tigger, my strong sweet man, was with Meeko when he passed and he too was very old (17 blessed years). I promised him I would not let him die alone and and he passed away in my arms in January of this year. Again, I felt in my heart that Tig wasn't going to make it but this time I stayed home with him and poured all my love into him to make his last day as easy on him as I could. Tig was a "daddy's boy" and i was fortunate that my husband came home shortly after he passed away and was able to say goodby to him. I always knew saying goodbye to a pet was hard and many times said I wouldn't let them die along. I just wasn't prepared fro the pain that such a promise would brong. Holding a pet, who is more like a child to you, as they take their last breath is so very very hard. It is an extremely emotional and physically trying time because all of your focus is on making sure their last moments are as peaceful as you can meke them. And to this day, I can still see Tig's eyes as I hugged, kissed and told him how much I loved him, thanked him for being part of our lives and and let him know it was ok for him to finally rest. This is not a decision everyone should or can do and even now my heart is breaking as I remember. But even though it still haunts me, I wouldn't have done it any other way. My boys showed me unconditional love during their time with us and holding Tig in my arms while he passed away was the last gift I coudl give him. I just wish I could have done the same with my Meeko. I lost both of my boys within 3 months of each other and people tell me Tig held on to life to help us through the loss of Meeko and I like to believe this is true. Every day when I come home, I still feel a deep sense of loss that I know will ease with time. It's just so hard.
I also want to let people know that when you lose a pet, you lose a part of yoru family. And even though we know your just trying to help ease the pain, don't offer another pet to the family. You can't just replace them like you replace broken furniture. Your heart is broken and need time to heal.
Thank you for letting me share my story with your and know that I am praying for you and you are not alone.
- a new friend {hopefully}
Gayle

Bethany said...

Holly- so so so sorry for your loss. Ill be thinking of you and keeping you all in my prayers.

stacey said...

I was glad to read about the time you had together on your Mungkee's last day and so sorry you had to say goodbye. It is the hardest part of having animals in our lives.

Andy said...

So very sorry. You were all so lucky to have each other. We lost our sweet girl last summer and we Feel her close every day. May your cherished memories always keep Mungkee very near your hearts. It's a love and a loss unique in its poignancy and understood by those who have been through it.

A dear friend sent us the book "all dogs go to heaven" when we were hurting. A sweet read for such a tender time.

gillar girl said...

Oh I'm so, so sorry to hear this Holly. I am all choked up reading it. After having our puppy for only five months I am starting to understand the bonds formed with these sweet buddies, and can only imagine how sad we will feel when it is time to say good-bye. Sending love and thinking of you.

Valerie@chateaualamode.typepad.com said...

Oh Holly I am so, so sorry. My dog is laying here next to me as I type and I just gave her a great big hug. I totally understand. I believe with all my herart there is a special place in Heaven for our beloved animals. Sending you a hug xxx, Valerie

Pretty Little Things for Home & Life said...

I'm so sorry to hear about Mungkee. :( Hugs to you and your family; hopefully Wren is doing well with the loss of her buddy.

Denise said...

Dear Holly,

So sorry about your doggie.... I know how much he was loved and a part of the family... Here's a poem that I love...I recently lost my Chow Chow and someone sent this to me...

A Dog's Prayer
Treat me kindly, my beloved master, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for kindness than the loving heart of me.

Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I should lick your hand between the blows, your patience and understanding will more quickly teach me the things you would have me do.

Speak to me often, for your voice is the world's sweetest music, as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when your footstep falls upon my waiting ear.

When it is cold and wet, please take me inside... for I am now a domesticated animal, no longer used to bitter elements... and I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet beside the hearth... though had you no home, I would rather follow you through ice and snow than rest upon the softest pillow in the warmest home in all the land... for you are my god... and I am your devoted worshiper.

Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for although I should not reproach you were it dry, I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst. Feed me clean food, that I may stay well, to romp and play and do your bidding, to walk by your side, and stand ready, willing and able to protect you with my life, should your life be in danger.

And, beloved master, should the Great Master see fit to deprive me of my health or sight, do not turn me away from you. Rather hold me gently in your arms as skilled hands grant me the merciful boon of eternal rest...and I will leave you knowing with the last breath I drew, my fate was ever safest in your hands.

--Beth Norman Harris

Know you are not alone, and the best thing you could do for him as his doggie parent is set him free from suffering. Much love, Denise

Rachael said...

So sorry for your loss, Holly. I think every longtime reader of your blog knows what a devoted mama you were to him. It sounds like he will live in your hearts and memories forever. Wishing your family all the best.

Grace said...

Oh Holly, I just read this and my heart swells for your sweet family. I am so deeply sorry for your loss and know that your little man is happy in heaven and watching over you. In time, when you think of him, there will be happiness in all the beautiful memories as the pain gets better.

We lost our dear Maddie to cancer, which seemingly came on over a week, and I had never seen such strength before, when she held on only because she saw I wasn't ready to let her go. When we held her for the last time, although the light was gone from her eyes, her love still was in the room, and to this day, I feel her love and know we will all be together one day.

 
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