I like to consider myself a treasure hunter. But what I consider the most thrilling part of that job title is that what I find is usually far from treasure to most people. Sometimes the diamonds in the rough are the most valuable, and often not in terms of money.
It is pretty special to wake up each day feeling free as a bird, following my dreams, my heart, and a 35 month old (who happens to be amazingly a bird, a dream and my heart).
BUT (and that's a big but) I am not one of those people who savor every moment, although I should. I've a mind that races a million miles an hour, in a really good way, but an impossible-to-finish-one-project-before-I-start-another way. And if I were list a treasure as my greatest it would be time. I always need more of it, seem to run short of it.
Digging in the sands of time.
Because this year time seems to be going even faster than ever, as every year does, I found it hard to believe we are nearly in December already. Usually a month that brings to mind roaring fires and eggnog for me, I am not sure if I even have it in me time wise or energy wise this year to go all out with the holiday decor.
last year's ode to the season.
Plus we have two of these before Christmas. It is a lot of fun, work and family in a small window of time!
Maybe my problem is not that I don't have enough time, but that I have too many loves. My love of Sean, Wren and Mung Kee,
My love of reading and blogging alone could fill my days and nights. I often recall a beautiful autobiography I read once upon a time by Eudora Welty, famed American Author. Her most vivid and pleasant memory of childhood was that her mother was a voracious reader, never content to be without a book even sacrificing her social life in pursuit of her love of reading. I definitely do not dedicate entire days in bed reading like Eudora's mother, but the adventure, borrowed memories and experiences I've gained from reading are a part of me that is very personal. It may have a lot to do with the feeling I've often had of living in the wrong time and being able to experience my "other" self through books.
Sharing that love was one of my biggest goals as a mom, and thankfully she seems to embrace it as well. Whether it is genetics or a learned behavior, or a combination of both, I don't think I'll ever know. But it is a special gift to share with her, and another past time that eats up my days!
My least explored passion is definitely photography. I wouldn't even call myself an amateur! I have no ambitions to ever pursue it as anything more than a hobby. But it is easy to see how it can steal your heart with just a few clicks of the shutter.
Besides family and furniture my heart lies in renovating. I don't think I've embraced myself as an artist ever before but as time goes on I can see that all my passions share that as an underlying theme. Sharing myself through expression. Sean likes to remind me that I tend to have an artists disposition, disliking distractions when I'm in my zone. And canvases don't get much bigger than entire houses!
SOOOOOoooo much more gratifying when it is your own blood sweat and tears.
Part of my love of blogging is the comraderie that a blogger shares with her readers. The ability to express different parts of my personality, be light hearted and fun, or deep and meaningful as my heart desires at any given moment. For the most part I think I am a light hearted, care free person. Not because I don't have cares, in fact I am a pretty serious gal and total type A personality once you get to know me, but because I think I have a lot to be happy about. The happiest people don't always have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything!
And I am pretty darned happy! As time passes it becomes so much clearer to me that I have so much to be thankful for and I become less obsessive about what I want, what I need or what others are doing. I do tend to be a little bit like a horse with blinders in some ways because I set my sights on whats ahead and don't look back, specially to not let myself get distracted by what people think of me or think I should be doing.
For these reasons I am looking forward to 2012. Not because it is a whole new year that will soon pass us by, but because I think I am finally conquering my inner doubts. No longer holding myself back from the ledge I am ready to take that jump, take a few chances and see what happens. I am not ready yet to share all that entails, but I promise that you will all be holding my hand as I make the journeys both big and small. As you have for three years now! From having a baby to taking a chance with whiteberry you've been there and helped make my travels so much more interesting and special.